When our kids experience “wordlessness”

(Part 3)

www.autismdigest.com ■ January - February 2008

How does Jim do it? Well, he has an extensive collection of videos, DVDs, and CDs, and his encyclopedic brain knows each one essentially by heart. Jim often cues them up very specifically, accessing special parts q quickly. I’ll never forget one day when I was running around frenetically, caught in the web of being a responsible adult. Before I knew it, Big Bird was addressing me from his nest, asking me what I like to do during “quiet time.” I laugh even now, just thinking about how surprised I was. And, you guessed it: I sat down where I was, breathed deeply, and smiled broadly – with great thanksgiving! Jim’s talent with the rewind button developed into an art form over the years, and we have been regularly treated to “performances” comprised of several clips served up on a special order. Jim would just pop in several cued-up videos in succession, and we would sit back and be entertained. What I often reflected on as I relaxed and paid attention to his artistry was that playful part of myself that Jim was able to tap. I think our playfulness is the best part of adults who work and play with children! But, how is it that we so often let our playful nature become overshadowed by the “responsible” part, the “accountable” part, the part that has the “lesson plan” or the agenda?

Many others of Jim’s friends have delighted in his media events as well. Last fall, for example, Jim treated me, and our SLP assistant, Jessi, to a short, well-orchestrated show using You Tube clips. Jessi and Jim have been friends for years, and ride horses together each week. But, starting last fall, Jessi had another role to play with Jim. In her position as SLPA, Jessi was now charged with monitoring some of Jim’s speech practice in the community (read: carrying a clipboard on horse-back!). Yes, the lines between friendship and accountability had become blurry, and the first person to notice it was, of course, Jim. So, within the space

of five minutes one day, Jim accessed a string of Muppet clips that quickly reminded me of my potential for playfulness, even as a clinic supervisor! You can bet I took that message to heart! This is how Jim spun his message: First, there was a Disney clip that promised to help us “discover our roots,” followed by a quick “I’m sorry,” from another clip. Then I heard the strains of the Beatle’s song, “Octopus’s Garden”: “We would

be so happy you and me, no one there to tell us what to do.” Hmm, I was thinking… Then there were the elves from Muppet Classic Theater delivering their “wish for a miracle.” Jim concluded his presentation with two partial sentences. The first was, “I took the liberty of…” The second gave credit where credit was due, announcing that the message had come from “our executive producer.” This is what we used to call Jim, and he’d always lived up to the moniker. Once again, I’d been reminded about the value of play, and that best part of me, my “inner child,” that also supports others to play! In reflection, I’m also reminded how much our hearts respond to beauty, poetry, art, song, and drama. And I hope I will always try to remember to “find the words” in myself that acknowledge our kids’ intentions, ideas, feelings…and the brilliance that makes their communiqués shine like beacons to the rest of us!

The points from our last two columns deserve repeating here: Sometimes our kids’ wordless communiqués work, sometimes not. It’s often up to us to make them work! So, when our children’s communication-through-art is wordlessly presented to us, we are the audience who can hear the message and “find the words” to give it voice! When we do, we’ll discover the best in both our children and ourselves!

Marge Blanc, M.A., CCC-SLP founded the Communication

Development Center, in Madison, Wisconsin 10 years ago.

Specializing in physically-supported speech and language services

for children with ASD diagnoses, the Center has successfully helped

scores of children as they moved through the stages of language

acquisition. Contact Marge and her associates: Communication

Development Center, 700 Rayovac Drive, Suite 200, Madison,

WI 53711, lyonblanc@aol.com, (608) 278-9161.